Friday, May 28, 2010

Wally, Willis and Winning

The Floppin' Phils are 6-8 since Signgate broke. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'. Just as telling is the below graphic from Beerleaguer, which captures their last 5 games in Sistine Chapel-esque fashion.

In another pertinent example of "top kill", my heart goes out to our Gulf Coast brothers and sisters. These folks can't seem to catch a break. If there's any justice in this universe, the oil will help seal their levees.

As a matter of course, Guillermo del Toro confirmed today that "The Hobbit" is on indefinite hold. How's that for timing? I blame Jerry Manuel, whose heir apparent interviewed in Fred's suite during the Subway Series. I'm sure Bob Melvin is a fine man, but precisely when did he become the second coming of Connie Bleepin' Mack?

Say what you will about Wally Backman's past travails, but he was born to manage the Mets. He could undoubtedly do better than 493-508, if given the opportunity. Enough of these milquetoast field  generals. Keep your ever-battling, Yankee-shaven gangstas and gimme some spit 'n vinegar. Dave Singer states the case far better than I here.

Also, Backman partnered with Keith Hernandez to form one of the greatest mustachioed right sides of the infield ever (at least as often as the opposition started a righthander, lest we forget the Teufel platoon).

I'm fascinated by commercial voiceovers. I have to stop whatever I'm doing and figure out whose rich and distinctive voice is trying to sell me something. I've spotted Willem Dafoe, Tom Selleck, Gene Hackman and Jeff Bridges recently. Others who deserve a shot are Gilbert Gottfried, Chandler's girlfriend Janice from "Friends" and the good Dr. Melfi.  

R.I.P., Gary Coleman. Didn't the recently deceased Dixie Carter play his step-mom in "Different Strokes"? They say tragedies like this occur in threes. Since Dana Plato's already spoken for, that leaves Conrad Bain, Charlotte Rae and Todd Bridges. Hey, now there's a stellar idea for a reality television show...

(insert macabre laughter here)

In closing, I just want to say that Wally Backman would never let 19 bajillion barrels of crude oil pollute the Gulf of Mexico. Every single day. For over 5 weeks. 'Nuff said.

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