Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Entry About Nothing

This just in: Angel Pagan was pulled for a pinch hitter in the 7th last night. Gary and Keith showed a replay of him wincing in his prior AB and guessed it to be a back issue. Security tapes of the tunnel leading from the Mets dugout to the clubhouse told an entirely different story, however.

A masked, skulking figure wearing a Carlos Beltran jersey can clearly be seen ambushing Pagan with a lead pipe. When reached for comment, team spokesperson Jay Horwitz declined to comment.

R.A. (short for "Rick Aguilera") Dickey? Only the Mets, I swear. There's a little bit of that old magic floating around this team and it's a joy to behold.

For a promotion night, the Mets should consider blue dickeys emblazoned with an orange "R.A." on the front. 96° or not, I'd wear mine proudly.

Seinfeld was incredible in the SNY booth. It's so refreshing to see his love for the Amazins. He openly professed his love for the fans, and how cool was it of him to stand up to Lady GaGa on our behalf?

Fredi Gonzalez got canned by the Fish. I shared an elevator with him in Philly a couple springs ago, but it wasn't until after I'd exited that I realized who he was. Had I known, I would have made a slightly different impression on him. As in, my knuckles on his nose.

Why all the violence, you ask? Fredi led a mediocre team that somehow marshalled the resolve to destroy the two summers prior to The Great Morass. It made me wonder, "If these Marlins can play with such passion and power now, what the @#$% were they doing in the first 161 games?" So, in Fredi's honor, I bring you the Top Elevator Scenes of All Time™.

Our old friend is apparently leading the race as his successor.

There's no plague of frogs on the horizon for an already embattled Ottawa. That's refreshing.

Does anyone else recall Morgan Freeman on the kids show "The Electric Company"? His "Through The Wormhole" series on the Science Channel has been extraordinary, to say the least. Granted, the man could do voice-overs for paint drying and make them compelling, but retro-causality? Quantum non-locality? Forget the scientific possibilities - I'm going back in time and removing my Ulnar Collateral Ligament.

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