Greetings, my humble and faithful murder. I hope the new week finds you well and wanting nothing. Much has transpired since we last parted, so let the prattling begin:
Legendary White House correspondent and anti-Semitic crone Helen Thomas has retired. This comes on the heels of her recent comments regarding Jews being forced to return to Germany and Poland, among other places (presumably in railcars).
Garish as they may be, people's true colors never cease to amaze me. I've no delusions of humans doubling as angels in my midst, but goodness gracious. I haven't read her retraction and will not, ever, for ignorance such as hers isn't something alleviated with trite half-apologies. She said what she said because she obviously believes it, and beliefs like that are a foul and ingrained rot that deserves all the accomodation of a tumor.
In the ongoing attack against Israel, Iran has now jumped fully into the fray. Neither analyst nor alarmist, I nevertheless think this could be the singlemost combustible state of Israeli-Islamist affairs in my lifetime. Revolutionary Guard vessels off the coast of Gaza? Al Aqsa Martyr's Brigade interdicted mid-operation? Egypt leaving the Rafah border wide-open to circumvent the blockade against Hamas' terror pipeline?
In a most telling picture, the Rachel Corrie was boarded, a la the "Freedom Faux-tilla", with nary a shot fired. Where were the claims of "deadly raids" by the nefarious "commandos"? The first five ships were boarded without incident as well, so what was different about the Mavi Marmara? Outside of its cargo consisting of this and passengers like this, not too much, according to lying bastards like Reuters. I do not have confidence in the IRGC receiving an Israeli so warmly.
In brighter news, embattled Metropolitan hurler Oliver Perez has been placed on the DL with knee tendinitis. After bizarrely rejecting attempts to figure things out in Buffalo, Port St. Lucie and Timbuktu, he'll finally get a reprieve. Let's just hope it's time well spent and he'll return as an asset rather than an albatross. As a matter of course, these are the Mets and it involves medicine, so the commissioner's office is investigating. Also, Gary Matthews, Jr. was designated for assignment. Hopefully this move gets Jesus Feliciano a ticket south, although Chris Carter deserves some at-bats, too.
I found some free bacon at the store yesterday. That sounds rather gross, actually, like I happened upon a shriveled, hairy strip behind an old display. I'd eat it, don't get me wrong, but I still prefer the pre-packaged variety. To clarifiy, they had some Oscar meyer thick center cut on sale: buy one, get one free. Coupled with Frenchy's three-run jack, it was a banner day! I still can't help but think of Roberto Alomar whenever I see #12, though. Regardless of how poorly he turned the double play in Flushing, he was still the best left fielder they've ever had. In other words, thanks for hanging in there on the pivot, Robbie...
Lord of The Rings Online could use an update, stat. I spent some time in Mirkwood last night and earned kindred standing with the Malledhrim, which means I can now get a black horse without enduring PvPtards. But what of the Argonath? Rohan? The in-game world is already massive, but countless leagues have yet to be added.
"Hate crimes": aren't they all? I'm willing to wager that Gregory Collins wasn't serenading Anthony Hill with sweet nothings while dragging him behind his truck. Just when I begin to marvel at our being on Mars - Mars! - things like this bring the Status Crow satellite crashing back to Earth.
In today's "Stones The Size of Grapefruits" department, there was another daring theft in Marseilles. Not bad for a day's work, eh? I can't say I don't empathize with their motivations, although I'd probably use slightly different means. Throw some bacon in that lorry and I'd feel compelled, too.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'll leave you with a smile, courtesy of an unabashedly beautiful and burqa-less Sandra Bullock locking lips with Scarlett Johansson: