Sunday, January 15, 2012


I took my Charlie Buckets to a chocolate waterfall last week. As luck would have it, Veruca Salt dipped her hand into the goo just prior to our arrival. My unenvious task then became explaining the dangers of pathogens. To children. Whose every last syllable and sinew contorted in angst for chocolate-covered macaroons. Serenity now!

As an employee carefully disassembled the works, I patiently explained to them that she wasn't doing something bad, she was actually doing something good. There's no "five-second rule" for hepatitis, and regardless of how contrary it may have seemed, she really did have their best interests at heart.

Surely, the easiest thing for her to do was turn her head and let the status quo continue. Thankfully, she did the right thing. What a simple, powerful lesson for everyone from 1 to 111! Can you imagine a world where more people were accountable to what was fair and just, regardless of the ripples it created? Such thinking is dangerous, after all. No, not that. This:

Wake up. I cannot stress this enough: WAKE UP!  95% of Amerikardashians are too busy tebowing to their Triple Whoppers, iDroids and Snookie to know or even care that their Republic is burning. For many, even the mere mention of this form of government elicits an eye-rolling sigh straight out of high school History class. Have they no idea how truly revolutionary it is? Rest assured, if you count yourself among them, you will get precisely the tyranny your ambivalence demands.

Are you a soldier? Quick Draw McGraw wants to send you back to Poland Iraq. Ron Paul says we never should have been there in the first place.

Are you gay? The used car salesman and American Talibani want to forbid you from marrying the person you love, based solely upon their interpretations of a Creator. Ron Paul says, while it's not something he personally believes in, it's not the role of federal government to dictate to you. As with abortion, such matters are under the purview of individual states.

Are you a United States Congressman acting as a paid agent of a terrorist organization? Ron Paul cannot be bought by any person, party or President.

Finally, are you also a hard-working American struggling to make ends meet? Ron Paul says you're being squeezed by illegal monied interests that have bankrolled the fiat empire we were never intended to become.

Pull out a dollar bill, if you can scrape one up, and look on the back. See the capstone on the pyramid? It's unfinished. Do you know what that says to me? Among other things, the work is not complete, nor might it ever be. The hearts of men beat ever the same, and the watchers on the walls must stand fast. There's nothing new under the sun, after all, and encroachments upon liberty are just as old as the lofty notion itself.

I didn't grow up with TSA checkpoints, warrantless wiretaps and indefinite detentions, and yet these Soviet-style regressions are "just the way things are" for my children. Where were the watchers? Where are they now as The Patriot Act, SOPA and NDAA are being debated/passed into law by persons sworn to uphold the very document these ignore? How is acting as an enemy of the Republic somehow acceptable if you do so "with reservations"? I'm sure every last signer of the Declaration of Independence had similar misgivings when they endeavored to keep such tyranny off our shores.

As for the Constitution of The United States of America, it is hardly some "imperfect document". Rather, it is one of the most august achievements of mankind, ever. I'm a broken record, yes, but thousands of years from now, we will be studied just as the Egyptians, Greeks and Romans are. Will we be some curious anomaly, a mere blip on the radar of civilization, or something more noble and enduring? Our Republic was the hope and dream of free-thinking men and women for thousands of years. It is a curious and fragile thing, this tree of liberty, both tender and tempestuous. It requires vigilance, virtue and, yes, sometimes even blood.

This has nothing to do with parties or personalities, it has everything to do with principles. Namely, that you - yes, YOU - were created either by a god, the earth, biology, the universe or just sheer happenstance with liberty that cannot be bought, bartered for or taken away. By anyone. Ever. 

Back at the buffet, I had a Larry David moment when a woman stopped by to inform us she was our server. But we'd already paid in advance, gotten our drinks, plates and silverware and served ourselves. What, precisely, was she serving? I waited tables for years, and you 1.) Don't tip a bus person, and 2.) Can't bullshit a bullshitter. I felt a bit like Lloyd Bentson, but smiled appreciatively. 

Whether chocolate or cherished liberty, kudos to all who keep it flowing by doing what's right and not pretending to be something they're not.

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